On an endless pursuit of knowledge.
We were driving in the car to school listening to “Bodysnatchers”. We were getting really into it at a crescendo and we were both air guitar playing and yelling along with the song. Max started screaming. I continued yelling but gave Max the side glance like “wtf it’s good but i’ve never heard you get THAT into it”. Continued air drum arms. Max’s arms were seriously flailing around at this part. He’s still screaming. I side-glanced at his dramatic air drums.
"Whoa you’re wild"
"NO THERE’S A BEE IN THE CAR. THERE’S A BEE ON ME. GET IT OFF WE’RE GOING TO CRASH"
"MAX PULL OVER RIGHT NOW"
"MAX THE BEE IS ON THE SIGNAL BLINKER"
"GET IT OFF"
*”Bodysnatchers” continued to shriek loudly over the stereo. pulled over into gas station, tossed bee out of the car. turned loud music off. Gas station attendees staring at us.*
Max said I sing EXACTLY like Kate Bush. So exact that he was hysterically yelling. THIS IS THE BEST NEWS
Pain was bad. Took a Klonopin. Listening to the new album and I’m floating. Oh wow this is lovely.
I miss my father. In a last minute decision as I left work nearing midnight, I drove to my parents’ house half-expecting him to be awake. If not, I’d leave a note on the fireplace and pet the cat for a bit. Sure enough, the house was still but the cat was awake to stick his butt up in the air for me to scratch it. I heard a creak from the upstairs floorboards and the gentle sliding of a hand down a railing. My father stood at the bottom of the stairs with hair disheveled. Although his emotions are typically hidden by a downcast gaze and a wry smile, I could tell he enjoyed sitting there with me on the wooden staircase in the dimly lit kitchen with the itchy cat between us. In periods, we sat in complete silence (the only people in my family who can do that). He then showed me a book of nature photographs and explained to me the unique features of each landscape like the jumping cholla cactus of Joshua Tree. He has always known a great deal about things I love in this world like nature, insects, astronomy, minerals and sediments.
There was something so peaceful about that night. No expectations or censoring of words. No social functions or time constraint.
I always drive away from the house thinking about him in a melancholic way. I worry if he’s happy and well-rested.